i wonder if i still do exists in this world. its hard to imagine that i lasted this long you know. i live my life everyday like a soulless person. moving like a robot with a preprogram activities. don’t give me bullshit that others have worse problem than mine cause i know that already but i do not care about them for now. i need to take care of my own issues and problems.
life is difficult for some. there are blessed ones of course. i found myself nowhere near the two. don’t dare to say i need God. i always pray to God. doesn’t matter actually if He hears me or not. i just know He is there.
i cannot think straight right now. my mind is going everywhere. i’m not drunk. i really hate the feeling of being drunk.
i am guilty. of all the bad things i did. i have done a lot of things which i am not proud of. i feel bad about it. i am sorry to those i hurt. i am sorry to myself coz i hurt my self too. but the hardest to accept is the fact that i keep on hurting my self and everyone for the selfish reason that i will not tell.
life is not a mystery. i just make some things more complicated than what they already are. it sucks. need to get some sleep and get my act together.
